i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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