just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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