i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
