I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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