I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
