Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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