At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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