I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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