I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
