she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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