you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
