Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
