According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
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I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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