Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
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I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
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I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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