so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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