Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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