Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
