what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
