Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
