bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
