hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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