She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
