so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
