i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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