Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
