Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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