im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
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Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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