Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
