I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i think i have two assholes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish you could order shots online.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
