Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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