problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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