Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have fence marks all over my body
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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