i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
