If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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