God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
