i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
