good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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