the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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