A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Bring me that man meat
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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