my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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