I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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