Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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