Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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