I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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