You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I want to be your penis for a week.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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