I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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