You're a womanizer and a bitch.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize