OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
