Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
