They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
