so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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