before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
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I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
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If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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