I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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