tell your sister to shave her snatch
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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