so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
