how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
