why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
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I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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