Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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